~sonay

Sonay Xsoay

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The lovely life of me... April 7

Thu Apr 7, 2005, 4:15 PM

You know people are so cowerds... but some how thay have the guts to say 'I'm a nigger' on my back...I dont know if that hurts me more or do i feel sorry for them. Perhaps bit of both. I didn't ask them to watch me or see me let alone judge me...Heck! I'm not even black...I'm Indian (from INDIA)god danm it!!!!! Makes me sooo mad. People like that ruin white people for me...So here I am tired bored and very agravated. I want to be where no one can judge me ... is that too much to ask.. who am I kidding...

Now where ever i go to I will always be different. Perhaps I like it that way or perhaps Lonelyness is my only friend. None the less I dont hate them for calling me a nigger. Just pitty theme for their stupidity. For thinking black and white is 'it'. My eyes are soo tired. i could prolly sleep now... but I'm in middle of school, doing that wont help my case. A guy just told me this... about the nigger thing.... I just laughed it over with my friends but I never expressed my true feelings... i guess i'm just like that. Showing my true feeling means nothing no one... so whats the point, every one is worried about their own life and could careless about others... Some times I wish I never should have come to Canada being here means nothing but... pain, stress and agravation...but Icant go back to India... So that leaves me with one thing... i wont even say what.. cuz you'll figure out when say the next bit...

Know whats strange I actully tryed to kill my self... using my Chemestry set. I drank one of the thing that said it was poisen. I put it on a gronnala bar. GOD Danm it all it did was make me throw up for three fucking hours! and put me off gronalla bars for life! So some one want to show me a light plz i invite you...

- Reena

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~chibi-angel Apr 7, 2005, 6:32:17 PM

Oh Fluff. I wish you had told me. You know I'm ALWAYS here to talk to you. If yoou ever died I don't know if I'd ever stop crying. I love you to much to lose you. I'm never sorry you came to Canada. You showed me how to be a real friend. Please don't judge people with lighter skin by those ass holes. They are just small town hicks, with no real life, but to annoy others. NEVER care what they think, they aren't worth it. You are a wonderful person. I'd love if at some lunches you would come down and sit with me. I love it when you do that. I know I haven't been a god friend lately, but I want to change, but I see so little of you, and things happen, and I never get to see you. I still love youo like a sister. Please don't try to kill yourself again. I know it's selfish, but I love you too much.

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I met up with fate... she doesn't like me very much...

Je suis un paplemousse qui parle.

~sonay Apr 7, 2005, 6:48:38 PM

No, I try not to judge any one... but one thing i really hate... is being ignored... thats why i dont come down too often n latly i've just been going to the lab... even if i dont have anything to do...
i dont know i just feel really shity... even if i have to talk to you i wouldnt know what to say... and i dont know i dont like to make a fuss over my self... maybe when i get enough money I'll actully go and confess all my problems.. one day... n ways no I'm not racist all its just some thing i said cuz.. well its true... okay im not gonna say any more... i'll just confuse you further..

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ghhhhaa... I hate I H-A-T-E Seymore danm fool just wont die.. im gonna gauge your eyes out no.. cut your pretty hair see how you like that?? huh huh... bugger... *sigh*

~chibi-angel Apr 7, 2005, 7:04:09 PM

I'm not confused at all. Iknow what you mean about not knowing what to say. Things are a bit weird now. I think we should work on them, though. I don't want to lose you. It's alrightto fuss over yourself sometimes. It's good to vent sometimes.

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I met up with fate... she doesn't like me very much...

Je suis un paplemousse qui parle.

~bunnijo Apr 8, 2005, 11:18:14 AM

reena hun, i am so sorry that people are jackasses to you. like mr. cameron said, almonte is the small icecube that is left of a gigantic glacier... we are so backwoods that some people can't get past appearances and accept others for who they truly are. it's not worth your time to worry about them.
i won't tell you to keep your chin up because that would be dumb- it's obviously something that would hurt. but just remember that you only have to spend a little while longer here, then you have the rest of your life to show those bastards that there is more to you than they ever thought. remember, it will be them riding tractors and pumping gas for the rest of their lives, and you'll go on to be interesting and intelligent (not that you aren't already.. ^_^).
and no no no, you have it all wrong- poison goes on THEIR granola bars.

-luff jo

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sincere, serene, simple

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~sonay Apr 9, 2005, 4:26:12 AM

awwwwwwwwwww.... come on guys, I didn't mean to upset any one... i was just expressing how i felt.. but it rather nice to know there are people out there that do care. thanx.

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ghhhhaa... I hate I H-A-T-E Seymore danm fool just wont die.. im gonna gauge your eyes out no.. cut your pretty hair see how you like that?? huh huh... bugger... *sigh*

~samma Apr 16, 2005, 11:07:34 AM

This school is full of fucking assholes. Noone has the right to say that about you, or to judge you in any way. You are so much better than they are, you are so much better than all of those judgemental morons. One day they will wake up and realise how horrible they have been and slit their own throats. Sorry for the violence, but I didn't see this before and it makes me very angry.

~sonay May 12, 2005, 11:41:43 AM

oh no... violence is all good... thanx for your umm whatchama call it sympathy?... noo umm your.. danm i bad with words.. thanx any ways

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ghhhhaa... I hate I H-A-T-E Seymore danm fool just wont die.. im gonna gauge your eyes out no.. cut your pretty hair see how you like that?? huh huh... bugger... *sigh*

*SilkenTouch Sep 28, 2006, 12:37:29 PM

Hey this is my first time visiting your website, cause you left me a comment on a forum. Your art is beautiful and I think your journal is very heartful and interesting. I also think you should take care of yourself and don't try to hurt yourself cause that sucks and it hurts a lot and puking a lot sucks as well.. anyway.. but I understand what you mean, dealing with racist people. I am mostly white--a little japanese--but I used to live in Hawaii and used to made fun of for being white. I dunno if that actually helps or anything, but maybe it's good to know that everybody deals with shitty racist problems... or problems with people being idiots in general. Anyways, take care I look forward to checking out more of your gallery ^_^

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"What's hard, what's risky, what's truly audacious, is to hope," 44th pReZi!D3n+ aNd RO!yAL bAda$$ BArack Obama

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just looking for some @~*<3p.l.u.r.<3*~@ baby . . .